Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
