ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
