I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize
