Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
