I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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