I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
