im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Randomize
