Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
operation harelip BJ is a go
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
