i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Randomize
