he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
