Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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