So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
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