Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
