just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
