singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
