i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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