She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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