I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
