you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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