She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
The uberlube is also flammable
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
