Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
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