When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
