so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Too much gin, very little bucket
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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