I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Actions speak louder than pants.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Randomize
