All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
should my penis look like a turkey
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
