I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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