I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
