I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
