You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
