Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
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