OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
barbara walters just said penis...
I could have mohawked her pubes.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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