How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize
