I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
