The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
She told me I should be a condom model.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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