I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
