I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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