The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
