I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
