i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
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