I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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