she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
