Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
