Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Randomize
