after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
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