Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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