ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
