What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
