airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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