It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
