Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Randomize
