we're chasing vodka with high fives
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
